health

5 Things that help when you quit drinking

Sober🍹

Before I stopped drinking alcohol (as in: 6 weeks ago), I did a lot of research on things that could make my ‘cold turkey’ transition a little easier. Here are five things that I found that helped a lot of people, in the initial phase of quitting – so in the first couple of months. I hope they can help you too:

1. Have a solid why

We all know why it’s not smart or healthy to drink. But for most people, this is not a reason to consider sobriety. Most people quit drinking for a very good and necessary pressing reason or thing happening in their life. Maybe you want to get pregnant, maybe your drinking really got out of hand, maybe you realize your health or fitness goals can’t be met if you continue drinking, maybe you realize you have a bad influence on your surroundings.

Whatever it is, take a moment to truly think about why you want to quit drinking and why this particular thing is so important to you. How would your life be better if you go sober? What would you have that you don’t have now? What would happen if you don’t quit? Why is that not an option? Think hard and deep about your why – be honest – and write it down somewhere to come back to when you get tempted to drink.

2. Come up with a plan

For some people, it works to just quit the moment they think they never wanna drink again, and do the first few months on willpower. I’m not one of those people. For me so far, it really helps that I spent the last couple of months in 2023 researching, listening to podcasts, making lists of insights and tips, finding mocktail recipes and looking into new hobbies. Because for me, mindset is key, and I need some ‘ammunition’ to do this really hard thing (at least for me) and stick to it.

So instead of just cold turkey quitting and trying to not drink purely on discipline and willpower, maybe it works better for you too to come up with a plan, things to replace, things to do different, in order to make sure you get through the hard moments that automatically come with sobriety. And essentially, these 5 things are also part of that plan.

3. Find replacement drinks

No matter how much you change your life, social circle or habits after going sober, there will always be moments where you will crave a drink because you would always drink in these particular situations. Whether it’s meeting up with your old drinking buddy, going out for dinner and not being able to order wine, or trying to unwind at night without your nightcap.

Non-alcoholic drinks can never replace that buzz that you are craving that alcoholic drinks would give you. That is something you’re going to have to deal with. But to make NOT ordering an alcoholic drink easier in the moment, come up with some drinks you can drink instead. And do this while you’re at home, still in your safe zone, and not yet in a craving.

For me, it works to plan ahead which drinks I’m going to order. If I just want to feel special, it’s a pretty mocktail. If I’m going out for dinner, it’s something that pairs really well with the food (for example: sushi for me always works well with ginger ale or tonic). If I want to wind down at night, it’s a fancy tea, golden milk or a hot Beam drink to calm me down. Another thing that feels more special is ordering/making multiple drinks at once: for example a mocktail and a sparkling water. Or a cranberry juice and a tea. Or: adding a lime to your simple drink. I don’t know why but it works.

Whatever drinks you replace your alcohol with: make a list of options and plan ahead to not get tempted to order your alcoholic beverage – or at least to already have ordered something 0.0% before the craving comes.

4. Pick up a new hobby

Once you quit drinking alcohol, you will notice that suddenly you have a lot of time on your hands. Going out at night is not that inviting anymore, you don’t waste time on the weekends on hangovers, and your sober brain and body are somehow way more capable of doing things quick and efficiently than your drinking self was. So what are you going to do with all that time?

At first, you will like it because now you have time for all the projects you previously felt like you didn’t have time for. Painting the bedroom, decluttering and organizing for example. But once all those jobs are done, a real boredom or ‘missing out’ feeling might follow. Especially if you have FOMO because your old friends are still going out every weekend, and are not available for social stuff on a Saturday morning.

But there’s one upside: because you don’t spend your money on alcohol anymore, you probably have money left to spend on a new hobby! For me, I really got into coloring. It might sound easy and boring, but something that makes the time go faster and takes my brain off of daily life is actually perfect right after going sober. I can watch my favorite shows or listen to a podcast while I’m doing it, and as well as being creative I like the satisfaction it gives me – every time I finish a part of the painting I feel accomplished, especially when I think I didn’t need any alcohol to wind down and have fun.

Think about a hobby or interest that you always wanted to get into when you still thought that you didn’t have the time fore it. Play a new instrument? Get more creative? Write a book, gardening, work on cars, baking, go to museums? This is the time to do it! It doesn’t even need to be big or productive or make you a better person, as long as it makes you feel good and you can spend a lot of time doing it. Enjoy.

5. Find your safe people

The final thing you can do to make quitting alcohol easier is actually one of the most important things: surround yourself with a solid, safe and encouraging community of people. You’re going through something hard, your life is changing in many ways, and the last thing you need is people who are not backing you up, discouraging you or making you feel bad about yourself.

It’s hard to say, but you probably already know who those people are. We all know some people who don’t get why you need to quit drinking and find your choice a little bit too uncomfortable or confronting (‘Why can’t you just have one?’, ‘You’re boring since you quit drinking’, ‘If you’re an alcoholic, how bad must I be?!’).

And with those people it’s important that you either keep your distance, have a serious talk with them or just try to see them on different moments in different settings. They are probably the ones you used to drink with, so now maybe see them for coffee, or go do something active instead. Or if they only liked you as a drinking buddy, maybe just accept that’s all you were and move on.

On the other hand, there’s a lot of ‘safe’ people that we want to hold on to and see frequently. People who have experienced what you’re going through, are sober for another reason, or are not sober but agree with your decision and will support you in succeeding (a.k.a: are willing to not rub their drinking in your face, don’t offer you drinks and support you in risky social situations). And honestly, those relationships will probably get stronger now that you’re becoming your truer and healthier self.

This list might also include your therapist, anonymous people online, or that neighbor you donated your last bottles of wine to. It also helps to at least have one friend in mind you can talk to when things get really hard, who won’t judge you when you relapse but WILL try to get you back on track in your darkest moments.

There’s a lot more things I can share on this topic, so I definitely invite you to also read my other blogposts about sobriety. Feel free to leave your tips and comments down below!

xxx

How not drinking is going

Sober🍹

I stopped drinking alcohol on the first day of this year. Here’s a little update…

I’m actually surprised how easy this is so far, however I don’t have the illusion that it will be this easy in a couple weeks. Of course, I kind of expected the worst, so I really, really, prepared myself in the last months of 2023. I read books, listened to podcasts & watched videos on how to best quit alchohol. I have a journal, a calendar with stickers, a sobriety app and a very solid group of people checking on me. But somehow, it all feels unnecessary at the moment.

Well-prepared

This is always the thing, isn’t it. You expect something really great or heavy to happen and that in itself carries a huge part of the load. Anticipation for a party or a vacation is the same story to me: lots of thought and excitement (even anxiety) beforehand, and then when it happens – meh.

But I’m glad that with quitting drinking this is also the case. It somehow proves that I did my homework. I knew what I was getting into, and I prepared myself so well that now sobriety doesn’t feel heavy at all. That, or..

Did I overestimate how hard it would be for me? Maybe alcohol wasn’t such a big thing my life after all?

Still craving

I’d love to say so, but I do still crave a drink almost every day. I do still get anxiety when I think about never drinking again (which is also why I made no such commitment). And I do wonder how I will feel going to Bonaire at the end of the month and not sipping my cocktail on the beach, or how I will feel when someone offers me wine at a (dinner) party.

Because one thing that makes this phase easy is that I already did Dry January every year, and I’m practically still only doing that so far. Also, the rest of society kind of keeps quiet anyway in January, there’s not a lot of parties, everyone is on a diet, so I haven’t been in many ‘hard’ situations yet.

Positive effects

Now let’s talk about some of the health or mental effects I already feel. The first thing I noticed is better sleep: I sleep 6 or 7 hours in one go almost every night. This is huge for me since I have been a bad sleeper (awake every 3 hours) since puberty. I also notice less bloating/puffiness and less tummy problems.

The last and most important thing that happened is that my happy hormones seem to be balancing back. Where I used to be quite up and down, either very excited or very existential and dark, I now feel more ‘aligned’ with my purpose, calm and content on a daily basis. I’ve also felt random happiness more often (just a grateful feeling) and have less irritated, frustrated or impatient moments.

So far, I’m really happy I made this choice, the results and how it’s going. I would love to hear in the comments how your Dry January or sobriety journey feels so far!

xxx

Some last words on 2023..

Deep ✨, Lifestyle 🏃🏼‍♀️

As I’m starting to close out the year and reflect on the past twelve months, I get a deep feeling of gratitude and joy, but also heaviness. 2023 was the year of war, of loss, of chaos and hopelessness for many people. And as a very open Scorpio & projector, I carry this with me into the new year. But 2023 for me personally was one of overcoming, of getting my puppy Bentley, turning back to my true self, and lots and lots of fun and love.

I would love to come up with a list of highlights from the past year, but that’s way too much to write down and would probably bore you. Instead I would like to share my biggest lessons that 2023 has thought me:

1. If I get really quiet and turn inwards, I can be my true self anywhere in the world
2. I am craving some sense of silence, home, back to basics and simplicity
3. It can be really hard to stay on the right side of history, even if you know which one that is
4. I am allowed to take time for myself, even if it doesn’t result in anything
5. I can take better care of others if I take care of myself first
6. It is time for me to cut ties with alcohol
7. We are allowed to not know who we are, or change who we are all the time
8. Hypochondria is something that can creep up on me easily – but I can overcome
9. I can be someone who doesn’t judge and mainly loves others
10. Life is really hard, but really good, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m sure the list goes on, but these are the most essential things I think about when I look back on 2023. I’m curious to know what the past year meant for you, and what YOU learned, so feel free to share in the comments.

About 2024: this blog is going to change a little bit as the next couple of posts will mainly be about my sobriety journey. I hope you stick around for that ride, but if you don’t want to that’s completely fine. I’ll occasionally write posts on something else, and these can be found in the ‘old’ categories you’re probably familiar with under everything else in the top menu.

Have a great end of 2023 and I wish you all the best in the new year. ♥

xxx

5 hints of the divine in daily life

Deep ✨

Do you know that feeling, when you’re in a deep meditation or prayer, where you feel directly connected to the source of life? It’s that small spark of excitement that happens when you are deeply calm, happy and in sync with the greatness of life. This feeling can be found in more than just meditation though, it can happen in normal situations too. Here are 5 things in which you could recognize that divine spark in life.

1. The feeling of love for a loved one

Do you know how spiritual people always say ‘everything is love’ or ‘love is energy’ or ‘God is love’? That’s because feeling and receiving love is what connects us to each other and everything else. Love, essentially, is the essence of everything – whether you call it energy, Source, God or ‘the universe’. This is why when we feel, we also feel the divine spark. It’s the same thing. Spend time with loved ones.

2. Feeling alive(-ness)

Sometimes when I’m on my daily walk, traveling or drink a really nice cocktail in a really nice place, I just feel so alive. It’s not what I’m doing that decides when I feel like this – it’s the short realization that I’m alive, that I have this live, and that I’m living it. It’s a real being in the moment, a feeling of the now. An experience that reminds you what life is essentially all about – a reminder of the divine. Do more of what makes you feel alive.

3. Excitement while listening to music

Any art form can do this, really. I am personally very moved by visual art like paintings or statues. But I wanna mention music here because I have found that it speaks (quite literally) to more people. And I’m advising for the masses here. Music can be really in tune with our inner feelings. It can remind us of certain moments or people that we find important. It can resonate with life in a way that not a lot of things can (apart from the rest of this list). Music can make you feel loved, in love, alive or sparkly. For that reason, listen to music.

4. The realization of a true new connection made

Connecting is such an important part of being a human being. Not only to other humans, but also to other animals, stories, objects, or experiences. Connecting to something new and having that ‘aha’-feeling is really something precious that sparks the divine in us. It’s a feeling of ‘I know this’ and ‘this is me’. Essentially it’s a feeling of love – which may sound weird because we often think that loving takes more time and recognition. But connecting to something that feels like a part of you – even when you’ve never crossed paths with it before – is something so divine. Get out of your comfort zone, and connect more.

5. Awe for nature’s wonders

I don’t really know why, but many humans (I’d argue all of them) have a natural instinct to wanna be in nature – or at least feel good and peaceful when they’re forced to. Mother nature gives us a sense of love that is hard to find elsewhere in life. It’s a very core reminder of where we came from, and where we will return to. Life starts and end with mother nature, or if you believe in the naturalistic view on energy as I do: it never really started or stops anyway. We’re all part of the bigger picture, in one form or another, and like Marianne Williamson said: There’s a difference between content and form. The form of ourselves and other things or humans differs. The content is love and will always be the same. Spend some time with Mother Nature.

xx Coco

5 Products that help my health

Lifestyle 🏃🏼‍♀️

Since moving to the US, I’ve been feeling a lot less healthy than I did in The Netherlands. Small issues with my health started around 6 months into living here, and even though we live the exact same (quite healthy) lifestyle as we did before, we realized being healthy takes a lot more effort in Texas. So besides eating very healthy and moving my body regularly, I now rely on these products to reach my maximum health as well:

1. Silica

In the past few years, my hair has gotten thinner and more brittle. I guess a large part has to do with age and genetics, but recently I heard more and more people talk about Silica as a supplement for better hair. It also helps with bones, skin in nails, but this is just a bonus for me as I don’t have problems in those areas. A liquid version helps with absorbtion (if you’re Dutch, try the Vitakruid one).

Buy here

2. Athletic Greens

Just make sure I have all the nutrients I need, I like to take Athletic Greens every morning. This high quality, naturally sourced multivitamin had almost everything you can think of and in the right amounts for optimal absorption. Even though AG1 is quite expensive for a multivitamin, I really feel the difference when I take it, compared to when I don’t. Also, I prefer that it’s a drink instead of just another pill to take. Read my full review here.

Buy here

3. Collagen

I probably don’t have to tell you that collagen is related to healthy skin, hair, nails and bones. I like the use and taste of Vital Proteins, as I put it in my smoothie which I have 3-4 times a week. I currently have the pink ‘beauty’ edition because I initially wanted it for my skin, but they have other colors with differently sourced collagen and different benefits.

Buy here

4. Superhuman app

If you wanna be the healthiest version of you, investing in your mental state is key. Stress, negative thinking and overall unhappiness do influence the health of your body. Mimi created meditations for every time of day, and for every type of occasion. Whether you wanna stress less, think bigger or release anxiety, she has what you need. I especially like the short meditations as it only takes me 3 minutes a day to feel better.

Buy here

5. Huel

Huel is a great meal or snack replacement when you’re craving something sweet and don’t want to be unhealthy. Huel actually contains many nutrients which make it a full and high quality meal. This is not regular your skinny shake or protein powder! I also love that there’s no protein or stevia flavour. We have the black protein (lower in carbs) edition, since we eat enough carbs in Texas, haha.

Buy here

Please note: the links to the products are affiliate links, this means I get a small commission if you buy via this link. This does NOT influence the price you pay or my opinion on the product. So if you are going to buy this product anyway, please use this link and help a girl get $$! Thank you so much.

Why I love growing older

Deep ✨

When I was younger, like in my teens ’till mid-twenties, I used to think that it was the best time of my life. I was always scared of turning 30 years old one day, and I had insane expectations for myself about what I wanted to achieve before that age. And now, the time has come. I’m turning 30 years old in a few months and have actually come to the last Q of my roaring twenties.

Why life doesn’t peak before 30

The past few years have been really good, but I wouldn’t say I’ve been through the highlight of my life yet. Actually, in the past years my life has gradually become better and better. Since the beginning of high school until this year, I have surprised myself at how much better life became each year.

I’m actually laughing at the fact that I thought high school was going to be the best time of my life, because it clearly wasn’t. And neither were my student years, I mean – how could they have been? They were an absolute blessing, but I was still young then. And therefore I was insecure, still had to figure myself out, had to do a lot of things I really didn’t want to do, and was broke, hungover and stressed over deadlines a large part of my time.

Why life is a blast after 30

And as I grew older, like between 25 and 29, all these problems seemed to solve themselves almost automatically. As I finished my studies and started working fulltime, I actually learned more about myself and what kind of life I wanted. I also grew more confident as I felt more sense of accomplishment and pride through my work and building my character.

As for the other hardships; growing older fixed these too. Of course not all 30-ish year-olds have the same life, but at least most of them have something of a stable income, know who they are and what they want, and have the tools and resources to build the life that they want. Another mayor thing for me is: I can live by my own rules now.

Because when you are younger, you have to live by rules others made for you – and legitimately so. You have to make deadlines for school, have to proof that you’re not stupid all the time, and have to listen to your parents because you still rely on them for a large part. I really appreciate the freedom of not having to do anything I don’t want anymore, and not try to do things I’m not good at all the time.

I feel like for a large part, I have proven to be capable and smart at this age. I can avoid situations I don’t want to be in, and for all I know if I want to, I can sleep in as long as I want, drink alcohol on weekdays, and take a walk in the middle of the night. Yes, 30 is pretty flirty and thriving. Actually.

xx Coco

Athletic greens review

Lifestyle 🏃🏼‍♀️

So, we are two months in on the Athletic Greens. We (my fiancé and I) initially started drinking this supplement because we wanted to make sure we get all the nutrients we need, without having to stress on food too much. And we do. But what we gained is a lot more. Let me give you the pro’s and con’s of this green morning-drink.

The quality

Before we start, I need to tell you that we did a lot of research when we were looking for a supplement. Athletic Greens is hands down the most complete, high quality supplement out there. Not only does it contain almost every vitamin and mineral you need from very good resources; it also contains enzymes, probiotics and fibre.

On top of that, the ingredients are perfectly proportioned to be as easily digestible as possible for your body – so you actually benefit from all the nutrition that’s in there, and are not simply paying for very expensive pee. So, if you’re looking for a supplement, Athletic Greens is really one of the best out there.

The taste

When we started drinking it the first morning, we were surprised by the good taste. I wouldn’t say it tastes as good as green smoothie or juice (because it’s still a powder), but it wasn’t as sandy to be as some of the reviews said and the taste is pineapple-ly and spicy.

We kinda like it. But the flavour is quite strong and sometimes I have to drink a sip of water with it as it itches my throat (kinda like cinnamon), so that’s something to consider. This doesn’t bother me, personally.

The benefits

We were most surprised by how the felt amazing on the first day. Really – I’m not exaggerating – I felt like I was high on caffeine, had a very good night sleep and took some Ritalin. Except, I didn’t do any of those things. I just had one coffee in the morning and when I wanted to take my second afternoon cup, I decided it wasn’t necessary because I was so full of energy.

Sadly, this effect only lasted one day. The following days, the superwoman feeling was gone and even though I still felt better than before, I wouldn’t describe Athletic Greens as something magical. That was really just the first hit (that I was thankful for though 😉 ), though I think it does tell us something about the effectiveness of the drink.

Some long-term effects for me, are: weight loss (easier than normal, less cravings), better sleep, slightly glowing skin and more constant energy-levels. It also cures hangovers or colds quicker than usual. I also feel that my nails are even stronger than before. And of course, the nice and calming idea that overall, I get all the nutrients I need alone is worth a lot to me.

The Cons

Honestly, I don’t feel like there are real downsides to this drink. But if I had to come up with some cons, it would be that for optimal absorption, you need to wait 30 minutes until you can eat breakfast or have a coffee. Athletic Greens can’t help this – it’s just the way our body works, but this does require some planning in the mornings.

Another more obvious downside could be that this supplement is quite pricy compared to other, lower quality supplements on the market. I personally don’t mind this, as I’m very willing to invest in my health and it makes my life easier. But I can imagine not everyone is willing to pay this amount of money as it does not replace healthy meals.

Are you on Athletic Greens or do you want to try it?

xx Coco

The 7 pillars of my theory of life

Geen categorie

The other day, my fiancé and I were high on Athletic Greens and on our daily walk. Somehow, we landed on the subject of purpose and our personal reason to live. Even though I don’t necessarily tie purpose and ‘the ideal life’ tightly together, we had a sudden urge to come up with ‘categories’ or ‘themes’ that add value to our lives. Categories which, if we would invest in each of them for the rest of our lives, would contribute to living a fulfilled and meaningful life. These are the categories that we came up with ‘to live a good life’.

1. Health/fitness

Being healthy is the first category because it is an presupposition of anything else in life, or to have a life at all. It is only when you have (a certain level of) your health, that you can think about the quality of your life, and how you want to live it.

Do you remember the Maslow-pyramid? If our basic needs aren’t met, and we worry about our health, we can’t think about or be bothered with any category that follows. So firstly: if you want a fulfilling life, invest in your health.

2. Relationships

Relationships (in the broadest way) are second, because we human beings are social creatures. We need each other to survive, to feel part of something bigger, to share with and learn from, and to be happy. Being lonely is literally unhealthy and life-defeating for human beings.

So whether you are an introvert or an extravert, in other to live a good life you need to have (some) meaningful relationships. This can vary from the love of your life, to colleagues or even distant acquaintances. Value what they add to your life, and invest the important relationships in your life.

3. Ethics

Another category that stems from the fact that we are social animals, is ethics. In order to live a fulfilling life, we need to have some sense that we are a good person or that we contribute to something bigger than ourselves. This is why altruism feels so good, and why helping others gives us a real sense of purpose.

So unless you are a psychopath (not even kidding), listen to your need to be good, to do good, and to therefore feel good. Get your values straight, and act in alignment with them (=integrity). In other words: invest in being a good person, at least the majority of your time.

4. Intellectual development

Intellectual development is a category that, in contrast to the previous one, does not rule out psychopaths. However, not everyone has a indefinite need for intellectual development in order to feel fulfilled. However, I would argue that development in the broader sense – i.e. forever learning, making progress – is something that is inherent to the human race.

If you don’t learn, you stay the same person forever. And you will rob yourself of many beautiful new insights, experiences, and knowledge life has to offer. So: keep learning, and tickle that brain every now and then. 🙂

5. Aesthetics

I know what you’re thinking: art and aesthetic experience is not essential for everyone. Not many people look at a painting or read a book and think: this just makes my life so much more fulfilling! However, I would argue that for human beings, aesthetics do have an important say in whether we are happy and live a meaningful life or not.

First of all, art is often seen as a way to understand (parts of) life in a different way than we are used to. In this way, art can contribute to category 4, 6 of 7. Secondly, art is a luxury: something many people only have time and energy for when everything else in their life is somewhat amazing. So, your interest for art can be a good indication that you’re on the right track.

Finally, aesthetic experience cannot only be found in art, but also in daily life, other people, or nature. The fact that we find some things way more beautiful than others, is deeply ingrained into the most primal parts of our brain. We are evolved to find things that help us survive (water, sunlight, colorful flowers and animals) literally more pretty than things that would hurt or kill us, because they represent prosperity.

Even though the need for this ability is a little outdated, you can use it to your advantage. Walk in nature more, enjoy a beautiful museum or a sunset, read a good book, and see how this seemingly shallow attraction makes your life more fulfilling.

6. Spirituality

Ok. This is a hard one. I do want to keep this one on the list, because spirituality adds meaning and fulfillment to many many lives. This can vary from traditional religion like Christianity or Islam, to new age or even merely believing ‘there is more to life’ or karma.

However, I don’t want to argue that you need to be spiritual person (in any way whatsoever) to live a good life. I don’t believe you’ll go to hell, and I don’t think (unless you feel it) that you miss out on a whole lot. Now that I have become more spiritual as a person, I do see how it adds great value to my life, and makes many things more easy, understandable or meaningful.

In that way, I would definitely say that I live a better life now than when I was younger (and more atheist, haha). I would also definitely say that I would miss out on one of the most valuable and important parts of life. But if you don’t feel the need for spirituality at all, and you are completely fulfilled without anything ‘woo woo’, please feel free and skip this category.

7. Joy

Joy is really the icing on the cake here – except for this cake, icing is quite essential because otherwise the taste will be quite bitter. You see, you can be super fit, have amazing relationships, be a good person, keep learning, have aesthetic experiences, and pray or meditate everyday. But if you’re not enjoying life, none of this really really feel as meaningful or fulfilling to you.

Even though I’m not a hedonist, and I definitely wouldn’t say that joy is the ultimate goal and purpose, I do think hedonist have a (small) point. None of the other categories will fulfill you if you don’t enjoy investing in them, or investing in them doesn’t bring you joy. A little fun (or better: a lot of it) is important to be able to keep up with these categories, and to feel fulfilled in the process.

Do you, like my fiancé feel a need to have certain categories in your life that you can work on? I think they can be very helpful to reflect on your life now and then, and see which categories you want or need more of. Let me know if this theory of life helps you out!

xx Coco